i just heard XD

kai said that
"HER LEGS ARE DAMN NICE
SHE WAS WEARING FBT PANTS"

i think he's starting to get deprived ._.
and pardon the caps, i think he's working ~ and caps are the best to work with~


and about this.. i don't really feel anything..
because that doesn't really matter because..
maa good looking girls are good looking girls, they exist everywhere..

but the person you like only exists in one place..
and when i thought about that i imagined the singapore map trying to pinpoint her location ^^"

bleh and now i'm still wondering why she is ignoring me O.Q
i want to ask her but i haven't gotten around to it because i'm afraid of the answer ><

haiz...

ken floats away on the river nile~

Labels: diary

that it is love..

you love her even more.

but very soon.. it will transcend love.

the feelings of loss without her around.

makes it turn into obsession.


i have my doubts now.

isn't it strange? how you would think that is the special one, but she doesn't?

and it is possible even, that she is suffering from the same symptoms as you.

she never makes you feel like you were special even if she was to you.

and she may think that someone else is special even if he doesn't make her feel like so.


5 months ago.. when our relationship was new and fresh, it was all different.

i wasn't being so pessimistic and down for one.

and if i count.. i believe that i've given and lost a number of chances.


SO! to anyone who reads this.
Strive Forward!
Don't delay because you never know what may happen tomorrow.

I am Ken.

Labels: diary

and again.. even if it were fantasy like, i would want to be with her.

to be quarreling, or mocking each other's tastes, to see both her ups AND downs..

but i wonder if that is just a dream on my part..
as..
she may not feel the same..

maybe i should be happy that i did indeed take up a portion of her life. that i wasn't insignificant from the very beginning.
happy as i am,
as i stand now, i am not satisfied leaving things like this.

at the beginning,
when you just felt that you wanted to see her face. to hear her talk. to be with her just a moment loger. and when she leaves, you feel like chasing after her.

these primal feelings evolve after you realize, that you can't stand being apart from her.

she's your all.

you,
realize,

that this is love.

Labels: diary

well apart from it being more than 2 months since the last, many other things have changed..

like how my relationship with her is
how she used to talk to me and tell me things
to how vice-versa would work it's charm.

right now we're exactly how me and kei, jo, thel, kura, voodoo are.. i'm even on better terms with sora than her.

to realize that and to know of the things she does without you pains the heart like poison. slowly but surely.

it may even be worse than when she got together with qh? at that time i had not given up because she was still talking with me. she , who had been snatched away, herself was the one who motivated me.

i wonder if we will ever get back to how we were..
there isn't much time left..

Labels: diary